Wake Up!

“Please pick your head up off the desk and pay attention.”

“You need to get more sleep at night.”

“Wake up!”

These words can be heard in classroom on almost a daily basis. The teens struggle to focus, suppress yawns, and fight to keep their eyes open. Students are tired. Many are tired all the time. Why don’t they get some sleep?

Some are student athletes and claim to stay up late finishing homework after games or practices. Others babysit or do other jobs after school. But I know the teachers on my 8^th grade team don’t assign that much homework. So are the kids simply staying up late staring at the television or engrossed in video games? Do they sit on their beds until the wee hours texting friends?

I recently read an article on this subject by Daniel Willingham. Basically, Willingham says teens who do not get enough sleep will suffer negative consequences. These include problems with memory, mood, attention span, and academic performance. I see these problems all the time, and the negative effects include poor grades, discipline consequences, disrespect, and the inability to get along with peers.

Willingham explains that when adults are tired, they “listen” to the internal clues their bodies give telling them to get some shut-eye. Teens, for some reason, are less likely to “hear” those clues and claim they aren’t sleepy. When given the choice, they choose to continue playing their video games, listening to music, or watching television because their bodies fail to relay the message that they need to sleep.

The optimum amount of sleep for a teen is nine hours and less than eight is insufficient. I’m positive very few of my students get that much. No wonder they have such a hard time staying awake.

Parents need to set boundaries. As kids get older, we want to give them more freedom, but we have to remember we’re still their parents. They aren’t ready to be completely self-sufficient. If they were, kids would move out on their own at 13. Isn’t that a scary thought? There are a lot of decisions we wouldn’t let our teenagers make for themselves without some input or advice from us. If we as parents are concerned about our children’s education and future, we have to realize their bodies aren’t equipped to make the best choice in this area of their lives.

They may scream “I hate you!” when you cut off their computers, turn off the television, or put parental controls on their phones to stop texting late at night, but don’t worry. Once they are old enough to understand, they will be smarter and much more rested, and I’m certain they will appreciate the boundaries you set which prove you love them.

God designed us to be parents and guide our children throughout their lives, not just until they reach the teen years. Don’t be afraid to be a parent instead of a friend. Kids can find friends everywhere they go. Parents are harder to come by.

It’s My Party

I’m hosting a good ol’ fashioned pity party, and I’m the guest of honor.

On Saturday, Colton had play practice in the morning, his Cub Scout troop walked in the Christmas parade and collected canned goods for the local food bank in the afternoon, and Autumn attended the Holly Ball at school that evening. On Sunday, Colton played Linus in “A Charlie Brown’s Christmas” at church.

My calendar is brimming with activity. Not only are the weekends packed with holiday plays, parties, and other events, almost every evening there’s something planned. Yesterday, Mark called me at work and said, “Get out your calendar. We need to see when we can go shopping together.” We actually found one evening when both of us are free. And thankfully, it’s before Christmas Eve.

The busyness has reached insane proportions, and I love all the activity. Right now I need it because I find myself celebrating my melancholy whenever I’m still. I haven’t read a book in over a week, I’m not writing like usual, I’m unenthused in my classroom, and I don’t want to clean (not that it’s ever a complete joy), cook, bake, or grade papers.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m not moping around all the time. Certain moments coax me from my sullen fog. When I focus on the reason for this blessed season, my heart swells. When I watch Colton play Linus in the Christmas play at church, my smile cuts my face in two while sentimental tears overflow. When Autumn dresses up for the Holly Ball dance at school, I couldn’t be more proud of what a beautiful, young lady she’s become.

     

But in the quiet moments, my mind immediately thinks of Christmas day without my mom and Fred. This will be the first Christmas in quite a few years I haven’t been with them. I know they are also feeling sad. They can’t make it from St. Louis to Virginia, and we aren’t able to go there. It just won’t work this year.

Usually, I accept disappointment without wallowing in it, but I’m having a hard time right now. I think God knows that because frequently when I’m starting to drift into my sour mood, He’ll put someone in my path to make me smile.

A student who asks how my day is going. A puppy that crawls into my lap on the couch. A smile from a stranger. A post on Facebook that forces me to realize I’m too blessed to be depressed.

No, it won’t be a Christmas like the ones from recent years, but it will still be a celebration of one of the greatest days in history, that of Jesus’ birth.

So if you see me with a frown on my face or a faraway look in my eyes, don’t feel sorry for me. I’ve been doing enough of that for myself. Instead, ask me what my kids want for Christmas or how big the puppy has grown or what events are planned for the youth group at church. Those things will snap me out of my mood and help me to enjoy this glorious holiday season.

And thank you, God, for all the reminders.

‘Tis the Season

Cough. Hack. Sniff. A week later, I’m still fighting a wicked cold. I’m slogging my way through my days, trying not to contaminate everyone in my vicinity. I haven’t taken the time to rest and recuperate. ‘Tis the season to be busy, right?

It’s been more than a week since I wrote a blog post. My brain isn’t formulating words worth sharing, and I’m not motivated to do anything more than what is necessary. This short post will have to do for now.

Physically, I feel drained. But I haven’t done what is required to recover quickly. I’m still at work, I haven’t visited the doctor’s office, I am still taking care of my responsibilities, and I seem to expect healing to occur without any effort on my part except to take medicine to mask my symptoms.

It kind of reminds me of times when I’m spiritually drained. Yep, I’m a pro at masking those symptoms too. I continue to work, take care of responsibilities, even go to church, but I don’t do what is necessary for healing. I don’t immerse myself in His Word. I avoid asking for encouragement and support from fellow believers. Basically, I pretend all is well.

And just like my cold which could easily become bronchitis, pneumonia, or something else more serious while I refuse to care for myself, my spiritual self could fall even further into despair if I don’t respond to my needs.

During this blessed season that can turn into a chaotic swirl of activity, please take care of yourself – physically, emotionally, and spiritually. And if you have any great advice for those of us who aren’t so adept in this area, please share in a comment!

If the World Gives Up on You…

The other morning I passed a car on the side of the road. A white slip of fabric fluttered out the window surrendering its ability to move. As I drove by, I noticed the dents, rust, and other bruises mottling the battered body. No wonder it had given up.

Then something else caught my attention. This pile of abandoned metal wore 30-day tags. My initial reaction was Why would someone buy that piece of junk? Did they really think it would run?

As I drove by shaking my head in disbelief, my thoughts suddenly did a 180-degree turn, and I started considering the hope that must have been involved in the purchase.  Someone hoped that car would provide them with the transportation he or she needed. Even though it looked like it was near death, the purchaser believed.

Likewise, even when I feel battered and useless, God has hope that He can use me. That I can still fulfill the purpose He has for my life. He would still purchase me, no matter how I looked. In fact, He did and the cost was His Son. Even if I feel like waving my flag in surrender, He believes I can keep going and chooses me for the job He requires of me.

Do you ever feel abandoned on the side of the road if you can’t provide what other people expect or need? Sometimes it’s impossible to accomplish everything, and the rejection or dismissal hurts when it’s not done successfully. But that’s what happens when we focus on the world instead of on God. If we concentrate on doing God’s will, the world’s needs will also be met.

Because God doesn’t care if the world has left me stranded at the curb. It doesn’t matter how dented and rusted I look to the world; He still has hope for my future.

Negativity Will Get You Nowhere.

As I posted yesterday, I truly believe that God is in control and He can use anyone to further His kingdom.

I have stayed out of political conversations for the most part over the last year. Students frequently ask who I’m voting for, but I’ve learned it’s not a smart move to reveal my choice. That being said, I feel the need this morning to share my feelings about one aspect of the election.

I’ve been stunned and saddened by the negativity during the campaign. Not that negativity is anything new in politics. I remember in 1972 being on the playground at elementary school and hearing a boy yell, “Nixon, Nixon is our man. Throw McGovern in the trash can.” Such eloquence certainly trickled down from an adult to this vocal second grader, and he felt the need to share with the rest of us. I don’t remember his name, but I can still see the ruthless triumph in his eyes and the wicked smile on his face.

With that in mind, I felt the need to discuss the election results with Colton this morning. Not only so he would be up-to-date with what’s going on, but so he would be prepared for any of his third-grade peers who felt the need to be mouthy in support of their (ummm…their parents’) own camp or with antagonism toward their opposition.

Wouldn’t it be wonderful to send kids off to school without having to prepare them for adversity?

Nothing has changed since my playground days. Now my peers are a little older than second grade, but many still spew hate to try to get their point across. Instead of on the swing set, it’s now carried out on Facebook, Twitter, and any other avenue at their disposal.

The interesting thing to me is how many Christians are involved in this ugliness. Have we forgotten WWJD? What would Jesus do in this situation? I’m positive he would not be spouting revenge and hate.

The United States has fewer Christians now than ever before. If someone who claims to be Christian truly wants more people to vote Christian values, wouldn’t it make sense to leave the negativity to the politicians and focus on spreading Christian love? Serving others and growing His kingdom seems to me to be the logical strategy for creating change in our world.

The last time the U.S. had a surge in church attendance was after the attacks on September 11th.  Sometimes you have to hit rock bottom before you turn to God and cry out for help.

I certainly don’t know the future or what God has planned, but a lot of people think our country is going to be destroyed in the next four years.

I’m not sure, but maybe it’s just going to hit rock bottom.

Do You Follow The Golden Rule?

Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Wouldn’t the world be a wonderful place if we all did this? Isn’t this what we were taught as kids? But as I look around the world, it doesn’t seem to be in practice very much.

The world has changed this rule, as it does so many things. An important part has been eliminated. Instead of treating others as we would like them to treat us, we treat others as they do treat us. Instead of choosing actions of kindness, so many people simply react to anger or cruelty.

As children, we often objected to reprimands by saying, “He did it first!” The retaliation of youth, a habit that frequently extends into adulthood.

My teen students become outraged if their peers act badly toward them, but they can rationalize their own actions so very easily if they themselves show cruel or disrespectful behavior. Many treat others just as they’ve been treated, either by peers, parents, siblings, and/or other family members. It’s a chain of malice that must be broken.

Adults are as guilty of this as children. Myself included. When I allow my words or actions to explode from my anger, I always feel sick inside when I calm down and realize how horribly I’ve reacted to a situation. If I was treated the way I sometimes treat others, I would be sad, frustrated, or angry in return.

Gold is precious. And precious things are hard to acquire, and sometimes when we possess them, we don’t appreciate their value. The Golden Rule is so very simple, and yet it is hard to follow. And often when people do treat us as we would like to be treated, we take it for granted and fail to value their kindness. We react to the ugliness with our own ugliness, but we don’t always react to the kindness, almost like we are deserving of it.

Have you been treated nicely lately? Have you been treated poorly? Which did you react to the most? I need to make a conscious effort to focus on the positive aspects of life and quit reacting to the negative. Wouldn’t life be so much sweeter? Just the way God wants it to be…

How Do You Define Success?

I cannot claim the following thoughts as my own. These words were taken directly from the notes I took on Sunday during the message by Pastor Tag Kilgore. The more they weave their way through my mind, the more I realize this recipe for spiritual success truly relates to success in all aspects of life.

Great spiritual success comes from:

1) Make every effort to build your personal character (character is like a tree; reputation is the shadow).

• Honesty – other people trusting that your words and actions are true
• Loyalty – standing up for someone no matter what others think of them
• Righteousness – Ephesians 6:1 gives no explanation of why; simply do what is right
• Love, which can’t be separated from commitment – even if the emotion becomes drained, the commitment remains

2) Make every effort to be a team player.

3) Have a great attitude – you can choose to be irritable, but it’s pure selfishness.

Thanks, Tag. I especially loved how you explained that insignificant actions can lead to grand results. I sometimes forget the trivial, routine activities that fill my days can add up to something impressive. I needed that reminder, and I’m grateful God gave you the words to share.

Selfish or Service?

Selfish witnesses someone getting bullied but can’t step away from socializing with a friend.
Service intervenes, assures the victim is alright, and tells an adult.

Selfish drops trash on the floor but can’t be bothered to pick it up.
Service realizes someone else will have to clean up after them.

Selfish goes shopping and only buys for themselves.
Service buys for others first.

Selfish blames others for what goes wrong in life.
Service strives to improve other people’s lives instead of dwelling on their own.

Selfish keeps the best for themselves and is generous with the rest.
Service gives it all away.

Selfish thinks the world owes them.
Service thinks they owe the world.

Selfish wrinkles up their nose at a homeless man and wishes he’d take a bath.
Service offers him a place to clean up and eat a meal.

Selfish takes a break to go get themselves coffee.
Service asks everyone else if they’d like a cup.

Selfish is noisy when others want to listen.
Service makes sure everyone can hear what’s being shared.

Selfish feels service is a sacrifice.
Service embraces the sacrifice.

Selfish thinks they are strong.
Service acknowledges they are weak.

Selfish sees a need at church but says “I filled that position for three years already. I’m done now.”
Service steps in to fill the need immediately.

Selfish immediately asks God for something.
Service starts by praising and loving Him.

And I Repeat…Change IS Good

Last week, I wrote about changes taking place in my life. And like He does so often, God created a situation to let me know I was slightly off track.

Sunday morning in church, our worship leader challenged us by asking if our lives have changed since we accepted Jesus as our Savior. Then Pastor Tag gave a stirring message about growth in our spiritual life. Growing is an ideal way to change, don’t you think? I kept reflecting back to my post from last week and came to the conclusion I had been somewhat shallow in my thinking.

All of the changes happening in my life right now matter. They really do. Everyday milestones and events that alter our lives make a difference.

But the inner changes, changes which eventually become visible to others, are the most important.

Do you have aspects of your spiritual life you’d like to change? I do, and I have for a long time. A few years ago in January, the KLove radio announcers focused on choosing a word to live by during the upcoming year. I remember selecting “change” as my word. I had a list of things I’d like to change, a list longer than my usual grocery list. Have I succeeded in making those changes? Not even close. There have been some shifts in my actions and thoughts, but not the dramatic changes I planned.

Some of the changes I wrote about last week were sad or painful. Inner change will also be painful, especially if it manifests itself to others and they begin to treat you differently. In the grand scheme of eternity in Heaven, that’s good news, but it can be painful on earth when you are no longer part of the crowd. It’s human nature to want to belong, but sometimes when you change for the Lord, belonging in the world is a sacrifice you have to make.

Do you no longer get invitations to socialize with your colleagues? Good!

Do you feel left out when some friends and acquaintances are all discussing the #1 best-selling novel, but you don’t feel it’s appropriate to read? Great!

If someone tells an off-color joke, do they immediately apologize to you while laughing with everyone else? Fantastic!

All of those situations confirm that people understand you are different, or changed, because of your spiritual life. Sometimes it’s a challenge to accept these situations as positive. But Tag reminded me that love is about commitment, not about emotions. Being left out might make us feel sorry for ourselves, but we must ignore those feelings and instead focus on the commitment in our hearts.

Have you faced situations that demonstrate how you have changed because of your commitment?

Change is Good…Right?

Do you like change? Some people require it. Their life isn’t complete without shifts and obstacles. Others prefer a routine that remains steady and sure with few surprises to create bumps in the road.

There are numerous changes in my life right now. I’m trying to embrace each one because they’re all good.

Well, at least I’m trying to convince myself they are good, but some changes are difficult to swallow without a little sugar added.

School starts on Tuesday. Every class has its own personality, its own reputation. I try to ignore most of what I hear because in the past, more often than not, what I hear doesn’t equate to the reality in my classroom. Kids mature, and my relationship with them is never exactly the same as the relationship they shared with previous teachers.

Autumn started driving this week. Yes, she’s been driving for quite a while, but this week she took off alone. My stomach knots each time she’s behind the wheel until she sends me a text saying she’s arrived at her destination safely.

My 8^th grade team has one less member this year. Our only male teacher was moved to the high school, and the change will dramatically alter our team dynamic. He kept the rest of us smiling and prevented the female emotional response from overwhelming situations too often.

Mathews Baptist finally found a new pastor after more than 1-1/2 years with an interim. Tag Kilgore has challenged, inspired, taught, and even entertained our congregation for months, and he will be truly missed. We excitedly welcome a new pastor and his family to our church family, and we anticipate a powerful future with them.

Magic, our cat of 13 years, died two weeks ago. If I walk through the house in the middle of the night, I still see her lurking in the shadows. When I enter the laundry room, I instinctively look in the corner to see if her water bowl needs to be filled.

Autumn has a new job at Chick-fil-a. I’m very proud of her, but I miss her when she’s not around. Usually everywhere she goes, I’m there too. Youth group, camp, shopping, wherever. She’s my sidekick, and now there’s a void when she’s gone.

Two of my five positions at church end this weekend. Roles I’ve held for three years will cease without any adjustment period. The abruptness almost seems harsh.

Change is good? I realize some of my “changes” above don’t seem so, but I have to seek the goodness in each one. Autumn is growing up, whether I like it or not. Magic had been sick. Tag’s desire isn’t to be our permanent pastor. The high school students will thrive under the instruction of my colleague who has been moved. I will have more time at church to devote to the youth group. Yes, good can be found in each change if I look carefully enough.

Change is good. When life doesn’t change, I get too comfortable and start to slip into bad habits. Change challenges me, creates opportunities to stretch my faith, and keeps me alert. I’m ready. Bring it on!

What changes are you facing right now? Are they churning up excitement or fear in your heart? Please share in a comment.